Snow Crane
by Ami-chan
Summary: A remaking of the popular snow crane story! >>; took me only 3 months to remember to post this thing...Tsuzuki goes off into the forest to cut some wood when he stumbles upon a beautiful young man...in a chicken suit?!


Okay.......Ami-chan will write a decent detailed summary of this Japanese folk tale.......but just to make everything humorous I will replace the characters of YnM.....tee heee heee.......you can consider this as a fic......this was suppose to be for Aithine.......but I am bored right now.....  
  
Title: Snow Crane  
Author: Ami-chan  
Rating: PG/PG-13  
Disclaimers: I own nadda...  
  
Narrarator: Once upon a time there lived a woodsman and his grandmother........  
  
*Tsuzuki has an axe while you see Tatsumi sitting there looking old-ish I guess*  
  
Narrarator: who were dirt poor  
  
Tatsumi: Why am I the old grandma?  
  
Narrarator: Shut up you'll get money further in the story......  
  
Narrarator: One day the grandma and woodsman were discussing about their dwindling food supply  
  
Tatsumi: Tsuzuki......our food supply is beginning to perish (excuse the author's lack of vocabulary)...we must be careful with our- *pauses* What kinds of lines are these???!!!! Tsuzuki!! You've been eating too much! From now on it's 1 bowl of rice only!  
  
Tsuzuki: HIDOIIIII!!!!!!!  
  
Narrarator: -__-;;; That was NOT suppose to happen  
  
Tatsumi: Aren't I suppose to be some rich noble man????  
  
Narrarator: No, you're an old poorer than dirt lady............Anyway, one winter day, Tsuzuki sets out to cut some wood and sell it to the city for money......  
  
*Tsuzuki trips over his own axe and lands in the snow*  
  
Tsuzuki: Why doesn't Tatsumi help?  
  
Narrarator: Because he's suppose to be old and fragile, so he can't work....HE'S A GRANDMA!!! Back to the story *cough* The young lad....  
  
Backstage: *snickers*  
  
Tsuzuki: HIDOII!!!  
  
Narrartor: Stumbles upon a wounded crane  
  
*Tsuzuki trips yet again and falls on top of the crane*  
  
Narrator: The crane was delicate and graceful......  
  
Hisoka: OOWW!!! Kono.......BAKA!!!!! *hits Tsuzuki on the head*  
  
Narrarator: *sweatdrops* Unable to leave the poor thing on its own.....  
  
Hisoka: I AM NOT A THING!!!!! And WHY do I have to wear this chicken suit??!!!!  
  
Narrartor: *cough* *thwacks Hisoka* *whispers* because we ran out off swan suits.....So the woodsman decided to heal the crane's wounds.....  
  
Tsuzuki: Now how do I get this arrow out? *rips it off, and more blood spurts out*  
  
Narrator: erm......*whispers* Tsuzuki, I think you're killing it instead......Anyway, the crane heals and flies off  
  
Hisoka: You were killing me dammit!!!!  
  
Tsuzuki: Aren't you suppose to fly off?  
  
Hisoka: I can't fly in this goddamn chicken suit!!! Chickens can't even fly!!!  
  
Narrarator: Um....a few days later, the woodsman and his grandmother were going through food and money crisis  
  
Tatsumi: HALF A BOWL OF RICE!!!! No sweets!!! You will now work ten hours instead of eight!!!  
  
Tsuzuki: *cries* Whatever happened to those old sweet grandmas who always say you were good little boy?????? They also give you treats too....  
  
Tatsumi: Who said I wanted to be your grandma???  
  
Narrarator: SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!!!! *cough* Anyway, there was a soft knock on the door.  
  
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*  
  
Everybody: *sweatdrops*  
  
Tsuzuki: *gets the door and sees Hisoka standing there (without the chicken suit)* May I help you?  
  
Hisoka: *grumbling* Do I have to say it????  
  
Narrarator: *nudges* Of course you do...  
  
Hisoka: *sighs* I'm not getting paid enough for this  
  
Narrarator: You're not getting paid at all  
  
Tatsumi: NANI???!!!!  
  
Narrarator: Nothing, nothing......  
  
Hisoka: My house has been destroyed from the harsh weather, would you mind if I stayed at your place?  
  
Tsuzuki: Of course you can! *smiles widely*  
  
Tatsumi: What?! Another mouth to feed?!  
  
Narrarator: So the mysterious maiden...err......lad stayed. She *cough* I mean he could cook.....  
  
*Hisoka just burned the fish, overboiled the water, and put too much salt in the stew*  
  
Narrarator: He could clean....  
  
*Hisoka broke all the dishes and cups*  
  
Narrarator: The grandma and woodsman loved her...him, very much  
  
Tsuzuki: Ano....  
  
Tatsumi: Tell me again why he's still here???  
  
Narrarator: The woodsman decided to marry the lad  
  
Tsuzuki: *glomp* Marry me!!!!!  
  
Hisoka: Get AWAY from me.....baka...  
  
Tsuzuki: *teary eyed* Hidoiiiiii.......  
  
Narrarator: One day, the family went flat out broke....  
  
Tatsumi: I KNOW you shouldn't have married him!!!  
  
Narrarator: *sweatdrops* So the lad decided to do something about it. He told the woodsman and the grandma that he's going to make a bolt of silk for them, but they must not look at him while he's making it....  
  
Hisoka: I'm gonna help you with your money crisis by sewing a bolt using this piece of pathetic crap of which you called a weaver.....  
  
Tatsumi: That costed a fortune!!!  
  
Narrarator: Yea right.....  
  
Hisoka: However, you must not look at me while I am making this...  
  
Tatsumi: And how are you going to stop me?  
  
Hisoka: I can make bolts of silk for you to sell and make a fortune out of it  
  
Tatsumi: I swear upon heaven not to look at you while you're making that silk  
  
Everybody: *sweatdrops*  
  
  
Narrarator: For three days and three nights, the mysterious lad worked to no end with no food, water, or sleep  
  
Hisoka: *grumpily* I'm hungry dammit, I'm thirsty dammit, I'm tired dammit.......  
  
Narrarator: *cough* and finally on the morning of the fourth day, he came out with the most beautiful bolt of silk that anyone has ever seen, but he came out paler and seemed weaker  
  
Tsuzuki: Sugoi!!! Hisoka, are you all right? You seem so pale and weak....*very concerned and places his hand on Hisoka's forhead*  
  
Hisoka: *blushes* It's nothing, go take the silk and sell it at the capitol  
  
Everybody: Awwwwwww  
  
Tatsumi & Hisoka: Oh shut up...........   
  
Narrarator: And so the woodsman took the bolt of silk to the capitol to sell. Many nobles and rich people fought to buy it  
  
Tsuzuki: Going once, going twice.........  
  
Watari: I bid 100,000 yen!!!  
  
Tsuzuki: Sold!!! To the rich nobleman!  
  
Tatsumi: How come Watari gets to be a rich noble man????  
  
Narrarator: Because I like him more, and I like making you dirt poor *evil grin*  
  
Tatsumi: I hate you  
  
Narrarator: Even though they lived decently for a long time, a crisis had occured again........  
  
Tatsumi: Damn you and your stomach!!  
  
Tsuzuki: But I'm a growing man  
  
Hisoka: You're dead  
  
Narrarator: And so, the lad decided to make another bolt of silk. This time it took four days and four nights. On the morning of the fifth day the lad came out even more paler and weaker....but the silk was even more gorgeous  
  
Tsuzuki: Hisoka....You should rest a bit. I think you've worked very hard *feeds Hisoka the stew he made*  
  
Hisoka: *cough* *choke* *gags*  
  
Tsuzuki: Hisoka!!! *glomps* Don't die on me!  
  
Hisoka: I'm already dead dammit you fool! *collapses in exhaustion*  
  
Tsuzuki: *cradles the sleeping Hisoka* *murmurs* My beloved.....  
  
Narrarator & Tatsumi: O.o;;;  
  
Narrarator: And so the woodsman set out to sell the silk again  
  
Earl: I bid 1,000,000,000,000 yen on Tsuzuki!!!!  
  
Tsuzuki: *sweatdrops* I'm auctioning the silk......  
  
Earl: I'll bid for that too.....  
  
Tsuzuki: Sold! To the really really rich noble man!  
  
Earl: OH my beloved Tsuzuki called me noble!!! *attempts to be touchy feely with Tsuzuki*  
  
Tsuzuki: I only sold you the silk!!! HEEEELLLP!!!!!  
  
  
Narrarator: With their money.....the three were fed well, lived well, and so on....however, another crisis has come, and the woodsman asked the lad one more time to make silk...  
  
Tsuzuki: Please?  
  
Hisoka: No  
  
Tsuzuki: Pleeaase???  
  
Hisoka: No  
  
Tsuzuki: Pleeeaaase???   
  
Hisoka: ALL RIGHT, JUST SHUT UP DAMMIT!!!!  
  
Narrarator: And so, the mysterious lad set to work. This time it took him five days and five nights....however, this time the woodsman could not help but look...only a peek right?  
  
*Tsuzuki peeks inside to see an almost buck naked Hisoka ripping off his feathers (O.o;;;;???) to make the silk, but this time it had stains of blood since he scarcely had any feathers left*  
  
Hisoka: *pants* *moans in pain*  
  
Tsuzuki: O.O *drools*  
  
Narrarator: It seemed that it was the same crane from before....However, the crane had caught the woodsman peeking...  
  
Hisoka: YOU HENTAI!!! ECCHI!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK!!!!  
  
Tsuzuki: We're married though  
  
Hisoka: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF WE'RE MARRIED!!!!  
  
Narrator: And so, the woodsman went off to sell the bolt of silk that was even better than ever......  
  
Watari: I bid 1,000,000,000,000 yen!!! I'll toss in my owl too!  
  
003: What kind of a master are you??????  
  
Tsuzuki: Sold! To the rich rich noble man....with the, uh, owl.....  
  
Narrarator: When the woodsman returned, he saw his beloved lad in front of his house. He told him that he could not stay after the woodsman has delibrately disobeyed his request. He had to leave after the woodsman has known his true form......  
  
Hisoka: You bastard, you saw me naked!  
  
Narrarator: It's not like we mind seeing you naked  
  
Hisoka: Oh shut up....  
  
Tsuzuki: I'm sorry!! *glomps* Please stay!!!  
  
Hisoka: No, I can not stay....damn, now I have to put this stupid suit on again.......-_-  
  
Narrarator: And so, beyond the woodsman's powers...  
  
Tsuzuki: *pins down Hisoka* You are NOT leaving me!  
  
Hisoka: Oh yes I am....*kicks away Tsuzuki and "flies off"*  
  
Narrarator: *cough* Um, so the woodsman became a widower...and still lived with his grandma...  
  
Tatsumi: Good ridance...  
  
Tsuzuki: Well, at least I have this owl to remind me of him....  
  
003: What kind of masters do I have?????  
  
Narrarator: Apprently, idiotic ones  
  
Epilogue  
  
Narrarator: Another snowy day, as the woodsman forged out into the cold to cut wood  
  
Tsuzuki: *trips over axe and falls on something* Ehh??? It's a wounded crane!!! Hisoka!! Could it be you??!! *glomps*  
  
Terazuma: Get off me you bastard!!!!  
  
Tsuzuki: Oooohhh boy......*leaves the wounded crane*  
  
Terazuma: Aren't you suppose to heal me you son of bitch?!  
  
Narrarator: Uh.....the woodsman reached the forest....  
  
Tsuzuki: TIIIIMMMBBEEEERRR!!!! *tree falls* *something lands on him....wounded* Eh?  
  
Hisoka: *groggily opens his eyes* NOT YOU AGAIN!!!!  
  
Tsuzuki: Hisoka!!! Your beautiful feathers grew back!! I'm so happy!!! *glomps* Stay with me forever....!!!  
  
Hisoka: *groans* All right.....  
  
Narrarator: And so, they all lived happily ever after....  
  
003: I have two gay guys, and a grouchy old thing living with me....how sad.....  
  
Owari~The End  
  
Ami-chan: Okay, this is the detailed summary of the Snow Crane story. I think you'll be able to tell which is fiction and which is non-fiction......oh yes, the epilogue is pure fiction that I made up. The actual crane story is that the woodsman is all alone, and I'm a sucker for happy endings. Oh and the names, they vary from each author who revise the story..... 


End file.
